


thawing

by nyxovertop



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Cold, F/M, JJ is amazing, Morgan is an idiot, Some Plot, Spencer is a genius, Warm, codes, heat as a metaphor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-09-05 20:34:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20279404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyxovertop/pseuds/nyxovertop
Summary: His hands are always cold.Or: Spencer solves a case.





	thawing

**Author's Note:**

> As this story suggests, I adore Criminal Minds, and I love Spencer Reid. Also, I like Morgan, but I've picked up on some negative vibes from him so this story will use that to its advantage. So, hardcore Morgan fans, stay away. Enjoy!

Someone buys him a gift. 

Spencer doesn't know who, just that it shows up one day on his desk, a box, its contents hidden beneath a solid white lid. Naturally he's suspicious, you don't do this job without gaining a few unwanted habits, so he doesn't open the box right away, just hovers over it, eyes narrow and chin propped up against his fist, with all the trust of someone facing the devil. His mind is working, calculating the probability of the contents being a) dangerous to himself or b) those around him, but then Hotchner comes in with that look on his face, the one that says he's got a case. So Spencer turns around and ignores the box and listens to the story of Moira Danvers, eight years old and kidnapped, his hands now crossed over his chest and eyes peeled with interest. 

When no one is looking he slips the box off the table and out of sight. It takes a quick wave of his hand, his fingers long enough to conceal it for a moment one then two before it falls into his bag with a thump. The box feels heavy, half a pound to be exact, and for the rest of the debrief he's got curiosity burning in the back of his mind. 

-

The box stays in his messenger bag for the whole next hour, and Spencer resists the urge to glance inside. It must stay hidden, unseen by everyone except for him, it's presence only felt when Spencer walks, where the box bangs lightly against his leg. 

-

He learns this: 

Moira was stolen, not kidnapped. Stolen from a seemingly healthy family, one which Morgan and Elle and Spencer leave to question three hours after the kidnapping was called in. The house they enter is a classic 1950s model, the cookie cutter resemblance of perfection. Inside, there are family photos on the mantle and jars of flowers on the table, little glass figurines lined up along the shelves. There's so much stuff, Spencer has to tuck his elbows close to his chest to not break anything. 

Karen Danvers (a mother aged forty four years judging by her wrinkles) arrives later, walking down the stairs to meet them. She's a frail woman with cruel eyes, and it takes Elle three times to get her attention. When Elle mentions Moira, Karen gives one-word, monosyllabic answers, then loudly proclaims it's time for her dinner party (it's one pm). She unnerves Spencer greatly, and when she turns around to face him, her eyes are a cloudy milk-white. She's blind, Spencer thinks, irrationally, and can't help but feel reminded of his mother. 

-

The moment Elle leaves the house, she tells them her deductions (Karen is not the UnSub) which leaves Spencer to wonder why Elle stayed so long to ask Karen questions, then. It was obvious to him the moment he walked into the door, Karen was a disturbed woman with too much on her mind than care for her own daughter. It's with that thought that he steps onto the sidewalk, twists his ankle, trips, and almost falls face first onto the ground. 

Morgan snorts. “Kid, you must be the only guy in the world who trips over his own feet.”

“Actually,” Spencer says, catching up to him, “twenty three percent of all fall related accidents are caused by a lack of spatial awareness on sidewalks. This adds up to eight million hospital visits, sixty five percent of those being serious fractures.” 

Morgan stares at him, then, and Spencer gulps, crosses his arms over his chest and goes silent. 

-

Spencer knows things are off when he steps inside their building, followed closely by Morgan and Elle. It's Gideon’s expression, something cold and appraising shifting in his eyes. He's looking down towards something, or at something, and when Spencer gets close enough he sees there's a letter in Gideon’s hand. It's a white envelope with blue print, and no return address. “Find Me," it says. 

They all know it's from the UnSub. 

Inside the letter there's a paper, all ink dots and random numbers and strange letters, one that Gideon tacks up on the wall. JJ stares at it, Morgan wolf whistles, and Spencer gets to his feet. 

“It's a code.” Morgan says. 

“It's a clue.” Gideon corrects. 

Spencer doesn't hear them, not really, he's standing feet away from the board and his mind is reeling, spinning, searching. His brain is rolling through every combination, possibility, every option that this code might contain, and he's so close he can almost taste the answer, and

“Done.” Spencer says. 

The room stills, for a second, a rubber band sort of tense just before it's snapped into place. 

“I know where she is.” Spencer reiterates, and the room breathes once more and he tells them: Saint James Park. Gideon nods, already dialing a number on his phone and walking towards the door. Spencer hears the words ‘found’ and ‘now’ before he's out of earshot. Morgan just shakes his head and looks at him sideways, for a moment too long, and then he leaves the room. 

-

It's three hours later when they all return, the investigative team and the BAU rolled into one. 

-

Spencer never actually talks to Moira, never sees her face to face, but he's confirmed her recovery: Hotchner tells him that she was found, Gideon says she is going to be fine, but JJ later informs him she went to the hospital for severe dehydration and internal bleeding. 

“She'll be fine.” Gideon says again. Spencer bites his tongue, and doesn't say that chances of recovery are thirty eight percent, and if she survives those odds he doubts a child of her age experiencing that trauma will ever fully be ‘fine.’ That word lost its meaning a long time ago. 

-

He goes to the restroom after, when Elle has gone home to her bed and Hotchner to his wife and kid, and locks himself in the first stall. There, Spencer reaches inside his messenger bag, pulls up the flap and pulls out that smooth white box. (His gift, though that word feel dangerous.) He'd almost forgotten it was there. Spencer deduced that, with the team gone and out of any potential harm's way, now would be a good time to open it. 

He does. 

Inside: a pair of gloves. 

Black, classic, the type one might wear when it's cold out. They were definitely practical, yet all Spencer can do is hold the box in one hand and the gloves in the other and stare. 

He's never been comfortable in his own body. He's tall. Lanky. Skinny. Awkward. It's as if his own limbs were never fully in his control, and they'd just act out, suddenly and inexplicably. Knock into this vase or trip over that carpet. He’s messy at times, he knows this. So Spencer has learned from years of tripping into and over things to keep his hands close. Tuck his elbows in and clasp his palms in front. Don't draw attention to them, those limbs that think on their own, the ones he can't find a way to control. 

So he stares at the box for a long time, and then puts the lid back on and the box away and walks out. He washes his hands twice, and all the soap in the world wouldn't stop his hands from burning. 

-

It isn't surprising that JJ was still there when Spencer walks out, sifting through folders in her office, she worked longer hours. He assumes this was because of her smaller salary, that coupled by a fear of being left behind. (Put your face on all the channels, all the newspapers, and you'll never be forgotten.) He doesn't judge, and never will, they all have their fears. What was surprising, however, was when Spencer walks back to his desk and finds Morgan standing there. 

“Hey.” Spencer says, because it's better than ‘do you need something.’

Morgan smiles back, not quite reaching his eyes. One hand was on his hip, the other bracing against Spencer’s chair. Spencer wanted, more than anything, to wash it. 

“So how'd you do it?” 

Spencer frowns. “I'm sorry?” 

“How'd you solve the code?”

Spencer blinks. 

“What, you can't explain it?” 

And that's the thing, Spencer can explain it. He can explain how his mind is prone to forming connections like a fish swimming in water, how obvious the solution was, like the pathway down a maze highlighted in bright red. He can explain all of it, but Morgan wouldn't understand. None of them would. 

But Spencer always has the answer, so he tells him. Morgan grows silent once more, eyes widening slightly, and Spencer nods to him goodnight. 

-

When he gets into his car, Spencer realizes his hands have grown cold. 

-

Spencer's car stalls to a stop outside his driveway. It's night, a dark deep black fills the sky, and Spencer wants nothing more then to crawl into his bed and sleep. He knows he won't, though. Nightmares creep into the blind spots of his vision like the air he breathes, constantly, attack when he least expects. So he sits in the car, and feels cold. 

While he is cold, Spencer thinks of JJ. It's funny, the two aren't connected in any way, shape, or form, yet his mind always goes there. Both topics have formed an unbreakable bond, where one starts the other ends. In this case, Spencer is cold, and JJ, in this very instance, wasn't. She was still at HQ, and logical reasoning would place her in her own office, with a built in heater. 

So JJ was warm, and Spencer thinks of her straight blonde hair, and the case they (he) solved today. He thinks of ice, of gifts, and the minds of other people, of the team. 

His team. 

-

Spencer puts the gloves on, and wonders why they fit just right. 

-

**Author's Note:**

> Don't quote me on that sidewalk statistic, I found it online from a questionable source. Be on the lookout for more CM stuff in the future, because I am a firm believer of the JJ/Reid ship. Granted, I'm only on season 1 so this is subject to change. 
> 
> 2020 update: I am no longer active on this account, see more in my profile.


End file.
